The hardest part about being right

I remember one really old martial arts movie I saw, ¹ “Best of the Best” I think it was, and I think Eric Roberts’ character was the one that said it where one of the protagonists had said the lines below; begging to be taken back into the team.

“It’s the only thing I know… [the only thing] that I’m good at.

This is true for everyone in the planet: We all make mistakes, and all are stupid in our own little (or big) ways. Yet at the same time, we have worth, and there are things that we may just “know” better than anyone else.

Based on experience, I have found out that, at least for me, the most important “lessons” one could teach are the same ones that we desperately wish people would really listen to – and by some sick joke of God, are the very things people refuse to listen to.

Let’s admit it; humans only pay attention to things that are ideal to them; It never really had anything to do with it being “the case” or not.

I guess in a sense, deciding whether applying “practical” or “ideal” rules to a situation has always been a gift of mine. At the risk of veering from popular opinion, I never hesitated in following my gut when approaching stuff with minimal biases influencing my decisions.

This is not to say that I never messed up, but it is worth mentioning that in spite this “approach,” I deal with stuff more positively and effectively – even better than anyone who does things “by the book” ² And by “by the book,” I mean being morally upright, following scriptures, etc.

It may or may not be the only thing I know, but I’m definitely good at it 😉 That’s why I could afford to say something like this (which I mentioned in a previous post):

Whenever I’m in disagreement with someone about a fundamental approach in life, one thing I like to do is to post a challenge to the other. Assuming I feel very strongly about my position, and I recognize as well how strongly they feel about theirs, I simply hint at this idea: “Sige lang, pagpatuloy mo lang yang yan paraan mo… tingan natin san ka mapapadpad.” (“fine, you do it your way and I’ll do it mine – then down the road, lets see who’s in a better “situation.”)

The proof is in the pudding… and to this day, I have yet to be proven wrong.

I seem to have noticed that the only time something turns out “better” than I would’ve guessed is similar to the “stars aligning.” Meaning when the “ideal,” becomes the practical choice with the parties concerned. Like a temporary “Marxian reality” sort of scenario – but we all know that’s always an exception rather than the rule.

I guess the best analogy is those people who are lucky enough to have their lives go exactly as they wanted. Take my brother for example, married to his first and only girlfriend since he was 16. If you would ask me, I’d say he missed practically half of his life because of that, but then again, it works for him… and there’s even the bonus of being in line with possibly every Catholic doctrine one could think of.

But whether you agree with it or not, the fact of the matter is he did miss out on a lot of things. The difference (a crucial one at that) is that like I said, he was lucky; he is happy, and so it was never a question if he should’ve experienced those things he “missed.” They certainly don’t know what they missed, and that’s fine. But make no mistake, they did miss out.

Whatever the case may be, one sure thing is that life isn’t that simple/perfect, and that most of us aren’t as lucky as my brother (myself included).

Having said that, I’m amused by how people desperately cling to certain structures even when they’re faced with such realities. It’s almost as if they want to believe they’re entitled to that same lucky break so few people (like my brother) get – and are extremely disappointed when they don’t. I’ve said it numerous times before; repeat after me:

The world does NOT owe us ANY favors.

The result of such stubbornness is that they experience the same problems over and over again… when simply shifting their view ever so slightly may just be the ticket to appreciating what life really has in store for them.

As in seriously, sometimes I overhear other people’s problems and just can’t help but think “really? that’s a “problem?” Those “problems” are almost always problems only because they’re trying to fit their square views in a round hole. This is the reason I posted about “whining” – because there are things that can be done to sort out problems, but people simply don’t because they’re either too afraid to try, or simply because it’s not how anyone else would do it.

Well guess what, “anyone else” usually has those exact same problems precisely because all of you don’t know how to fucking deal with it.

A good analogy for this particular “issue” can be seen on every goddamn episode of House. He practically gives the answers on a silver platter. But instead of listening to him, people try to find fault in what he’s saying simply because of the way he is. Nevermind if he’s good at what he does, and nevermind if he’s right, because he’s an asshole, there must be something wrong with his “process” and they must exhaust every possibility of proving him wrong ³ And fail miserably, because really, how can you prove someone right, wrong? I’d love to hear how that’s done

In fact, there was an episode where Wilson told Cuddy to not tell House he was right just to “humble” him. <sarcasm>Brilliant move!</sarcasm> Sure, try to destroy the confidence that makes House who he is; a person who can save lives. Make him less effective as a doctor because you just wanted him to have a heart. “Heart” doesn’t save lives… intelligence, foresight, skill and the confidence to utilize them effectively does.

So going back to the topic at hand, the hardest part about being right is not when others just won’t listen. Because if people don’t listen, they deserve what they get right? Not exactly…

The hardest part is when you care about a person enough and realize that they don’t want to listen to you – and you see them get themselves into a rut – a rut they could’ve avoided altogether if they had listened.