Here’s another one of those “Manual to my life” posts. This entry in particular explains (in part) why I have a generally “positive” disposition – despite having the same (or probably even more difficult) challenges in life just like any other person.
It doesn’t have anything to do with being “happy” or “positive” – but the simple fact that I refuse to be “negative.” What do I mean when I say that? Read on…
I don’t like people who complain. Well that’s not really true; I embrace everyone’s mystery π
But if you want to test my patience, then the quickest way to get me going is to complain – bonus points if you try to spin it in such a way that you’re kawawa – if you’re lucky enough; I might just decide to step in and beat you with a stick – and I think people will agree that you don’t want to be at the business end of that stick (oh wait, depends what “stick” we’re talking about hehehe).
I don’t like the act of complaining because I was always under the impression that if you’re not happy about something, and if you have the power to fix it, then you do something about it.
If you have the power to change your situation, but don’t do anything about it, then you just have to put up with it – simple as that. Even in the event that you are truly helpless (which is very rare), but are sure you’ve exhausted every possibility as if you had the power… then you should be able to find solace in the fact that you did all you can do, the best way you could – and should have no regrets.
Either way, I really don’t see why a person could just bitch about something without really expecting (or working for) a solution. 1 It’s also worth mentioning that women have nailed this brand of “complaining” down to an artform when it comes to relationships – but this post isn’t about women so I won’t press the issue π
What about the less fortunate?
Funny you should mention that. It is true that most of the uneducated or less fortunate “live” under a different set of “rules”… most of them probably have every right to complain about the injustices done to them.
But you’d be surprised how I can be irked by them as well. And I will digress a bit now, but I’ll try to connect it to the thesis… somehow.
Fake parking attendants
You know, the people who say “Sir, bantayan ko kotse mo!” I think most of these pricks are just trying to get a quick buck without doing any work. Because these kinds of people tend to “work” in the more affluent areas; areas where you probably don’t even need them.
If I was parking in Banaue or Quiapo, then sure, by all means I’ll pay you to look after my car… but right outside of Xavier? which is practically still inside a subdivision… are you kidding me?
It gets worse if it’s a person who just shows up to “help” you get out of the parking slot. Sorry to disappoint, but I think I’m quite capable enough get out of the parking slot on my own without relying on your “premium professional service” – but thanks for the offer, if you’ll give me your card, maybe I can call you when I need a Valet attendant in the future.
Sampaguita vendors
I have to admit I’m kinda on the fence on this one, because we all know the stories about how they’re being manhandled by the syndicates etc. So kahit papaano, nakaka-awa din sila.
Though the decision gets easier when you already tell them that you don’t have anything (or you don’t want to buy) and they stick around doing a guilt-trip… we all know the spiel already; “Sige na sir, makabenta lang para makauwi na ako” And you have to reiterate that you’re not interested… sometimes even up to 3 times!
Missy, if you had just moved on to the next car as soon as I said my first “no,” you’d probably be better off: You’d have more cars to cover… and more cars covered = increased probability of making a sale.
They can get so annoying that on a really bad day, I find myself literally wanting that they just stick with me… just so I could make sure they’re stuck trying to convince a person who will not give them anything until the light turns green again.
I do like giving alms to those who are physically handicapped. If you’ve got missing limbs etc. you get more sympathy from me. I guess the blind are last on the list because they usually have “helpers” – I tend to be more sympathetic to blind beggars who are on their own.
But if you really ask me, and I definitely am speaking from a high horse here, but I’ll say it anyways: I don’t like begging in general. Because I really believe that even these people are still capable of earning their keep honorably rather than just waking up each morning – expecting to get “free money.”
Truth be told, I think even prostitution is an honorable profession compared to what these guys are doing… because at least with the prostitutes, they actually earn the money they get. If you feel sorry for them, then it becomes even more “honorable,” because they are sacrificing something that should’ve been pure – to earn their keep.
The others are mostly just opportunists.
But what about “us”?
Indeed, for us it’s different. We, who actually have the opportunities, the education, the rights, etc. – what excuse do we have to complain? We don’t
I’ve realized long ago that the world doesn’t owe us any favors. It’s just the way things are, it has nothing to do with what a person deserves (just as House would say). We are simply given the cards to work with, and no matter how much they suck, the only thing anyone can really do is decide how they’re going to use them in the game.
So it begs the question: What would you do when your life isn’t going as planned? Do you move mountains to change it – or would you like some cheese with your whine?
Work
To conclude this post, let’s tackle the subject people complain most about – second only to love-lives π
Let’s say you have a person who complains non-stop about work. Simple answer; if you hate your work that much, then quit. Problem solved.
If you think you can’t afford to quit, fine, I’ll bite; why can’t you quit? Because you might not get another job? Why? Are you that incompetent? No? So you are competent, but aren’t being treated fairly in work, but you also don’t have the spine to assert your worth? So, who’s fault is that?
See where I’m getting at? All arguments in that scenario will almost always lead to the simple fact that you are just whining. The fact of the matter is, you only have to decide whether you deserve what you’re getting or not. If you really think you’re not being treated fairly, then you have all the power and rights you need to state your case, or leave and find something better.
If you don’t believe in yourself, then that shouldn’t be the company’s problem, because companies are always about getting more work done with less pay. So if you don’t assert yourself, then don’t act so surprised that you’re being fucked in the ass.
Let me tell you a secret about work: You never get what you’re worth… only what you negotiate.
This explains why the timid geniuses are in dead-end jobs, while their imbecile classmates are highly paid managers. That right there is proof of one fact: We all have the power needed to change our situations… It has nothing to do with skill or intelligence. All you really need to do is exert yourself, and pray it turns out for the best.
Either way, you have to do something… or just STFU.
To me, people who “just complain,” deserve to be in the situations they’re in. Because God knows if it were me, I’d do something about it – so I wouldn’t have to complain about it the next time around.
Notes
| ⇡1 | It’s also worth mentioning that women have nailed this brand of “complaining” down to an artform when it comes to relationships – but this post isn’t about women so I won’t press the issue π |
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I agree on the subject of whiners. I’ve witnessed this, marami akong naging officemates na reklamo nang reklamo using their Skype status bars. Or nagpaparinig doon sa Skype status bars. May tinitira silang tao who got a high position that they feel is undeserved. In this scenario, whiners = losers. Whining doesn’t solve anything, or get you to better places.
Also in the corporate scene, I believe that it is the employee’s job to protect himself, because the employers/managers are there to protect the company. That is what they get paid for. The protection of the individual comes second only to that. I don’t view it as a bad thing, ganun lang talaga e.
Hmm, I think you should qualify the assertion in your footnote – that women have made an art out of complaining in relationships. I feel it ought to read “most women.” In my marriage, I only complain when I want Dex to solve or address some problem or issue. Or to make him feel bad (inamin, hehe!). In both cases, there is a goal, it’s seldom just a ranting session.
“I donΒt view it as a bad thing, ganun lang talaga e.” – yep it’s the nature of the beast. It’s how capitalism works and thrives π
Hahahaha, inamin mo din pala eh! So tama yung footnote! Hahahaha. Pero gets ko sinsasbi mo π Mabuti you’re one of the more practical ones.
Although medyo na-amuse ako don sa “when I want Dex to solve or address some problem…” I hope it’s a problem that he’s responsible for. Or kung kayong dalawa, you help him fix it din.
Kasi I posted something that might be applicable in a post from 2005:
“…Because if we want something, we [men] do something about it. If they [women] want something, they want us [men] to do something about it.”
How true is that kaya in your setup? Medyo iba kse kayo ni Dex, you’ve always been very practical so baka hindi ninyo problem yon.
Haha, oo nga ano tama rin yung footnote in a way.
There are stuff that Dex can handle better than me, such as talk to the driver about his sucky driving, ’cause baka ma-lalaki yung driver sa akin kung ako ang nagsabi. So I just ask him to do it.
In our current setup, though Dex is the boss of the household, I’m the real workhorse, so when I want him to do stuff, it’s really just a matter of delegation than inaction on my part π Minsan, I go “O lab, may raket na malaki, pero kung tatanggapin ko mga 18 hours a day ako magtatrabaho for a week, tulungan mo na lang ako…” and then he steps in and takes care of my meals, etc.