Good read

We all want to be the person we know ourselves to be, and for others to recognise this and treat us with respect. We want to live without being dominated by fear, to enjoy good relationships, and to have a secure place in our society. No one is better than anyone else by virtue of their beliefs.

When we are able to be the person we know ourselves to be, without vanity or self-pity, we have the wonderful experience of feeling at home with everything that exists. Some people describe this in religious terms, some in terms of nature, but, whatever, we do not feel the need to have a religion tell us what we should believe.

My thoughts exactly. I’m not religious, but I do believe in God… not necessarily the way my religion paints Him to be. – but ultimately, I believe in the existence of a higher being.

BUT, I’m also a skeptic – in the sense that I accept that I don’t know anything for certain – which I think is the fundamental issue between the “extremes” of religious and non-religious. The former always seem so sure, with no exception. I guess that’s fine for the most part, but when it starts affecting their relationships with fellow humans in an unreasonable way, thats when it’s not – that’s why Religion has no place in government – because it’s bound to hit that wall if you tried integrating the two.

As implicitly stated in the TED video I posted a while back. It does NOT take a “belief system” to establish healthy morals or perspective. Most of humanity, regardless of race, culture, or creed, are in solidarity when it comes to what’s fair and just.

My opinion on a person is based on their merit as individuals… not their “beliefs.” Because honestly, if it takes something like “religion” to make you or me treat people fairly, then I don’t think we even deserve friends. Or worse; if it’s precisely religion that actually makes you decide to make or break bonds with other people ¹ Holy Wars anyone? – then I think there’s something seriously wrong with you. You’re essentially using something, which you ultimately can never be sure of, as a basis to interact with someone clearly present in your plane of existence.

“Proof” is a powerful thing, and while we can debate it as far as religion goes… when it comes to human beings, you can always rely on proof. We are all living, thinking beings capable of action/inaction – and with those tools available to us, we can PROVE our worth to others (and ourselves). And that’s why I put more stock in an individual’s efforts more than any rule set-up by a belief system.

Digression

Lets now segue from mostly religious talk to a broader topic: general outlook in life.

This may surprise you, but I would prefer to raise my kids in a conservative religious society – not because I agree with it (far from it!) But because it’s easier to keep them in check while they’re too young and stupid to make responsible decisions. Religious folks can surely relate to that right? It’s easier to just tell someone you’re going to hell if you do something bad, rather than go explain to them the complexities of the human social condition.

As much as I hate to admit it, when I become a parent, I think I’ll succumb to religion’s charm as well. It will always be easier to just use it instead of going into discussions of complicated scenarios: Terrorists acting in the name of their Religion, being pro-choice, homosexuality, etc. 😉 Just avoid it while you can and default to Religion. After all, Religion tries to kill the questions more than it tries to provide answers; might as well use that fundamental flaw to our advantage right?

As such, I will use that approach myself – up until they’re old enough to make up their own minds – just like I did. Although, I will make it a point to not shy away from sensitive topics once they’re pertinent in their minds. Take sex for example: The greatest mistake a parent could make is to try to protect/sheild their children from it; your kid will find out about it – whether you like it or not. And given how [mentally] ill-equipped they usually are, it’ll probably be in the most horrendous way imaginable to you as a parent.

I’d rather make them fully aware of the implications and teach them how to engage in such activity responsibly. The smartest thing a parent could do is dispel the notion that all children are good and perfect. Some of them will be, some of them won’t. Get over it. You have to learn to identify early on if your child is the type who’s curiosity gets the better of him/her; or the type who’s obedient with minimal or no supervision. Having good family values will certainly help, but it will not assure one or the other.

Take me for example. My Mom and I are polar opposites when it comes to religion. But looking back, I can say that she had no shortcomings whatsoever when it came to raising a family “by the book.” From the way they raised us, I should be a total conservative. I don’t recall ever being in a “bad crowd” – so negative social influence is certainly out of the question. So why did I turn out the way I did? Because that’s how I am – and no amount of words, doctrines and activities could change that.

One thing did work however; spanking. All you people thinking you shouldn’t spank your child, you didn’t have me as a kid 😉 That’s not to say that you should though, and that’s precisely my point; it will ultimately depend on the kid. I was spanked, and you know what – it was exactly what I needed to get in line. I’d even say that it was a good thing I was spanked ² Also take the time to make the distinction between prudent spanking vs. gratuitous BEATING. – as words and threats never worked (and still don’t) with me.

The sooner parents get their idealistic heads out of their asses the better. Because if they don’t, they will have problems keeping their kids out of trouble.