Jowi posted something interesting in her blog, which I will have to disagree with to a certain extent. I’ve commented on it, but I thought instead of editing myself with follow up replies (since LJ doesn’t seem to have a comment-edit feature) I’ll just state my argument here.
Read the post first before looking below, because I will assume you have absorbed it.I mentioned that we’re only 2x worse than women since the time/money aspect cannot be applied to us. The thing is, since they included themselves (women) in our equation, this should mean that we are within our rights to include ourselves to theirs. I mean women need men as much as men need women; that’s the whole idea of relationships, else there would be no argument to begin with… that, and there would be no heterosexuals in the world 😉
So that alone, will put them a notch above us again hehehehe. But I’m not here to argue, about that. What I simply wanted to do is to explain why we can assert that they (women) take time and money (which makes most of them high maintenance) and we (men) do not.
Of course there are exceptions (even in heterosexuals), and I’m not going to count them. But undeniable proof that they need it and we don’t is the fact that more often than not, girls are the people with issues when we don’t spend enough time with them – now if the corollary were true, then there should be a lot of incidents where men fight with their women because the latter didn’t have time for them… which we all know sounds rather silly (though there are exceptions).
Now another is the money part, women claim that they don’t need money… I actually agree with them to some extent. They in fact need only time. Time and “excitement” that is, and the whole excitement part is the one that really entails the money. Again, easily proven by women who start fighting with us if we aren’t doing anything to make them feel special.
So it’s more of being naive on their part, as they usually are predisposed to living in some ideal world where no one was poor, and everyone could afford everything… so spending to please each other isn’t an issue to them. That, or the romantic world that money should be no object, and I’m sure stuff like this will forever be a man/woman difference in perspective (depending on age of course). I simply live by the fact that when you finally have a family to support, love alone cannot feed them. And when they start bringing in the big guns talking about how men could spend on their hobbies and not their women. It is truly a guilt trip which is effective, but objectively, we buy our stuff, we do not ask you to buy them for us for the sake of the relationship, nor do we expect you to appreciate what we buy. And most importantly, it’s our money!
And while I am not saying that they shouldn’t have such a mentality, I’m simply saying that we guys do not share this view, and it’s unfair for them to demand it of us. But all the same, I don’t think women are evil for thinking like that.
Having said that, when they turn the tables on us and say stuff like “the spend for us also, etc. etc.” – that is true and I will not contest that. But we know and they know that we (guys) couldn’t care less if they bought us stuff or not. Because if we want something, we do something about it. If they want something, they want us to do something about it. Now while this is perfectly fine in a relationship, you can clearly see how differently men and women operate (men do stuff they want themselves, women want men to do stuff women want for them). And I just wanted to say is that we’re down with the pampering thing, but cut us some friggin’ slack willya!? Don’t be brattier than the “bratty disposition” 1 This is rather harsh I know, but I can’t quite articulate it. I simply meant that women, the same people who fight for their equality and independence, expect to be treated specially by men. Put in a pedestal if you will. Which, quite honestly, is a double standard if ever I’ve seen one. your kind are already born into.
It’s always more fulfilling if you’re not expecting anything from us, then we surprise you – than you being high maintenance and whatever we do is either “up to par” or “expected of us.” That simply makes us want to do nothing. And besides, why are you expecting anything in the first place? I know the only thing we expect from our women is faithfulness… that’s about it.
What we (guys) really want is the simple fact that you (women) are with us… no stings attached. I wish that it was the same for you girls.
A simple scenario: we guys can just hang at home with you women. As a bonus, if you’re sexually active, we can actually do it all the time 24/7 with you time permitting. It doesn’t matter what we eat at home (wether it was leftovers or whatnot) doesn’t matter what was showing in the TV (because we won’t be watching anything anyways hehehe). Any little detail really doesn’t matter to us, since the fact that the women we dig are in the same room with us already made our day. We can literally do nothing (just sit there, or sleep) with you and we’d still be ok.
Now my question is can you women imagine yourselves in such a repetitive scenario? Cuz we males sure as hell can. You may say “yes sure, after all, we’re together” – and that’s all that matters right? 2 Which incidentally, is PURELY TRUE for us guys. Women usually have a lot of fine print included in that statement. Like “…as long as we’re together… and this and that and this and that.” WRONG! Even if you don’t admit it at first, there will come a day that you will just want to do something different. That’s where we differ from you. As much as we are all for a change in pace… it’s not like we need it, and we definitely don’t go out of our way looking for it.
As I said, men are simpletons when it comes to partners and pleasures – we are easily pleased. Give us something we enjoy, and we can stick to it till the end of time! That’s why you have your sports jocks that always play basketball with their buddies, or the computer geeks that are fine staying home online, or the gym people who get off lifting stuff 24/7. You cannot deny that any guy that has any hobby or interest can stick with it for longer (and spend on it more) than what their women consider “reasonable.” And that’s why the whole “time/money” issue always comes up… and it’s almost certain that the women bring it up. We may joke about your fetish with shopping or clothing, but we don’t tell you that you shouldn’t – after all, it’s your money. It only becomes an issue if you’re using our credit cards for it (and probably the fact that we have to chaperone you to an activity we’d rather spend doing an activity we enjoy, even if it meant being on our own).
I can go on trying to show you how we men think, but I’ll just tell you this to save time: Take any regular relationship with problems (which is like, ALL hehehe). Listen to their “problems,” especially when it comes to time and money – and try to see who exactly is the person who needs what more. Chances are the women do. Not explicitly of course, because you sure as hell know that guys aren’t the people who are complicating the relationships. 3 With the exception of wife beaters, etc. etc. While men can either be galante or stingy, you have to admit that if the women truly simply wanted to be with the man (as men do with the women) then there shouldn’t be an issue to begin with. Bonus nalang dapat kung galante or romantic.
So yes, regardles of varying degrees, “high maintenance” is usually an apt term for women. 4 Again, there are exceptions… but those aren’t fun to talk about are they? But evil? Not at all. 5 “Crazy” is a much more fitting adjective
Notes
| ⇡1 | This is rather harsh I know, but I can’t quite articulate it. I simply meant that women, the same people who fight for their equality and independence, expect to be treated specially by men. Put in a pedestal if you will. Which, quite honestly, is a double standard if ever I’ve seen one. |
|---|---|
| ⇡2 | Which incidentally, is PURELY TRUE for us guys. Women usually have a lot of fine print included in that statement. Like “…as long as we’re together… and this and that and this and that.” |
| ⇡3 | With the exception of wife beaters, etc. etc. |
| ⇡4 | Again, there are exceptions… but those aren’t fun to talk about are they? |
| ⇡5 | “Crazy” is a much more fitting adjective |
papatulan rin kita… hehehe…
i’m reposting my reply to your comment to my entry here which i previously posted on my blog.
but before i do, let me address some of the things you pointed out here.
the sample scenario you mentioned is practically descriptive of my relationship with my ex. and i loved it. well, i loved it until… well, you know until when… haha. (i guess i really can be like a guy sometimes. shet. haha) he’d stay at my place from saturday night to tuesday early morning and we’d just stay home. we’d rent/buy dvds, eat, cook, eat, watch tv, eat, do our laundry, eat, yadayada… but of course sometimes the eating in was replaced with….ummm…. eating out… anyway, so, yes, there are girls who appreciate that set-up.
in my honest opinion, some of your “we, men are….” statements (in this post or otherwise) are hasty generalizations. i know some men who do not think the way you do.
and that part about… sex 24/7… %$#&’@+@+&%$#”!!&’?
now on to my reply to your comment on my blog…
sweetie, i know you don’t ask for OUR time and OUR money.
(although, you know i’m not the conventional type who asks a guy to pay for all our dates and wants to ALWAYS be together. i want me and my man to be together when we want to be together and apart when we want to be apart. so my comments are really…. ummm…what men and women disagree about IN GENERAL and pertaining to stereotypes)
but we COMPETE nga with the time you want to spend with your hobbies (eg. computer games, gimik with barkada, amime [para maka-relate ka. hehe] instead of being with us and we COMPETE with your mga luho, extravagances you want for yourself.
you may not ask for OUR time and money but you ask us to NOT ASK for your time (and reasonable shelling out of moolah). so you’re not only “evil”, you guys are also SELFISH. hahahaha.
anyway, ang point ko lang dito is, if you think we’re really that bad because of our demands, think of what you demand from us rin.
in other words, mahirap rin kayong alagaan (not i-baby or i-spoil… but more maybe… to please or to keep you happy…) thus the meaning of the term, high-maintenance. 😉
anyways, i never had this problem with jun, though, coz he was the one who was asking for more time to spend with me. i was the one who wanted to be more ….. umm… free. ewan ko ba. kung ano yung gusto mo hindi mo makuha. kung ano yung ayaw mo, yun ang nakukuha mo. ewan. si god talaga. hahahaha.
I totally agree with your last paragraph but I have to disagree with the “ask us NOT ASK for your time” bit.
Aside from the fact that I’ve REALLY been guilty of that, The REAL reason why you women THINK that is because we can simply “tune-out” when you go into that mode… so in that sense, we aren’t asking you to do anything, we simply have our way of handling it. But of course, you people even make THAT an issue and add INSENSITIVE JERK to the the list of adjectives. So we are FORCED to tell you that it would be better if you NOT ASK us gets?
Chicken and egg ba? Maybe. But if I were to call it as it is, I know that the issue was started by the women in almost all cases, so it’s unfair to call us evil/selfish/insensitive, when the reason you call us such incidentally was started by your kind’s “selfishness” for lack of a better term. Restated: it’s like calling us out for a foul when we deal with your mistakes the wrong way… when there shouldn’t be one to begin with.
About the generalizations, I agree, though I will save my final “generalization” until I actually gather info from different women and their problems with men. But so far, most people I know seem to have the same dynamics (myself included) which lead me to such a claim.
And I don’t know if you realized, but you yourself just proved majority of my claims even in your “exception” of a relationship by saying that you were the “guy” that setup (though you convieniently did not mention that in your comment, but we know what you say in person)… hence you KNOW deep down that it’s a guy mentality. Did that make YOU evil/selfish in your relationship? Not at all 🙂 and neither should we, or anyone be.
correct.
i guess at the end of the day it’s just a matter of finding the right person who will share the same things that you like and who will be in a relationship that would allow you to be comfortable by just being you…and hopefully you both like each other in the same way… or in my case, you like each other in that way at all. hahahaha. because sometimes two people seem perfect for each other but neither of them can find it in their hearts to be in that zone. tama na nga. ginawa ko nang sariling blog ko to. hahaha.
Amen. Wow! Did we actually agree on something? One of those rare moments I guess.
Let’s just hope and pray the “right” person comes our way… or better yet, a TON of right people, then we could just choose hahahaha.