sinong mas gusto mo makasama, mahal mo o mahal ka?

Got that from Kevin’s blog, and as he said, it’s a very familiar statement. It has no relevance to my life at the time being – so I’m not writing this entry because I’m in the moment or anything.

I do want to comment on it objectively – if possible at all.

My answer was and always will be the first. I prefer to be with a person I love than a person who loves me. What makes me comment on this is because the reasons that make me take this stance before and today are probably different.

Before, in the time of fairy-tales and fables I just thought that simply because I was a romantic, wanting to give more than to receive. And before you start screaming “you’re not like that!” – YES, I know I’m not like that anymore, but I was. And because I was is the very reason I’m not anymore. Or at the very least; not at the time being.

Being in the rapture of love makes you do crazy things. Ridiculously selfless things even. But these selfless acts, normal women can easily do – it’s in a woman’s nature: emotions over everything else.

This is the very reason why as a man, I’d choose the first option, because regardless of the realities of life, it would be nice for a man to actually feel that way (which is not natural to us… especially as we get much much older). To just be happy in love without thinking of the consequences of real life.

Today, that partially still stands, I have yet to find the woman who’ll actually trigger me to be that person again. I have loved, but not nearly at the level of confirming the I-love–them-more-than-they-love-me state of mind. Hence, the fact that I loved them still doesn’t count in context of the question above.

I guess these days, I’m thinking more along the lines of the practicality of the dynamics of a relationship. The reason I still chose the first option is now because of a simple scenario:

If the woman loved a man more, she’ll expect more… worst case would be they’d expect more than what the man can give. And though the man loves her, he will naturally end up hurting her because he cannot simply give [yet] what she “deserves.” The opposite is usually true for men (with exceptions of course). If a man loved a woman more, then he practically takes on the role of the woman (he’ll need her more than she needs him, etc. etc.) with emotions flying about. Which is why there are all these jokes about the perfect man being gay hahaha. But regardless if this is true or not, the fact remains that having a “womans” view in a relationship solves a lot of problems. Unfortunately God decided to play a sick cruel joke on humanity and made us too “different.”

Going back to the scenario of a woman loving a man more and will end up getting hurt regardless of who’s at fault is best confirmed by something said by women. Usually along the lines:

Alam mo, kahit sinasabi niya na wala siyang ineexpect, or hindi siya attached, hindi mo maiiwasan talaga yon kse babae siya.

This “thesis” was said and restated by bunch of women (on different occasions) when talking to guys about similar “commitment issues.” And I do not blame women for being like that. It simply is and I respect that.

As much as I cannot fathom why this is the case [for women], I will not attempt to understand it… I guess it’s just one of those inexplicable things; apples and oranges cannot be compared. In turn, I will not even attempt to explain how we can think the opposite way, or how we can “detach” so to speak. But I will give some observations that may clarify the situation.

Women tend to make issues out of stuff like if they’re not with their man for lengths at a time. Men on the other hand can handle it. They have their “buddies,” or they got the tube (TV), they have sports, hobbies, etc. etc.

Women have shopping and clothes… and gossip (usually about men). The thing is, they could incorporate men into these hobbies of theirs, which probably contributes to how they get attached: The disposition of their lives usually revolves around the concept of “companionship” by default.

You don’t see men forcing their women to go to a boxing match with them. Even if a man loves his woman to pieces, you will never catch him inviting her to a game of Poker with the guys.

But you can surely find a woman dragging a man against his will to a shopping expedition… only to find the hapless victim sitting in one corner waiting for the damn thing to finish… carrying all the shopping bags which contain stuff that he in no way had any part in purchasing.

Simply put, we men can think of a number of things to pass the time by. There are stuff we want to do with you, or stuff that we can only do with you. But there are also stuff that we can do without you, or stuff we prefer to do without you. And even stuff that we prefer to do alone. And as much as women have these “stuff” too, I contend that they aren’t nearly as many as men’s hahahaha.

And women take offense by this fact. That they (the women) aren’t as important as those other “stuff.” Though I’d consider that as an unfair attempt to corner men, I guess it can’t be helped. But even if we respect your “issues,” that doesn’t mean we admire them. Having the authority to claim that you are “stronger emotionally,” etc. etc. doesn’t impress us at all. Even if you didn’t give birth and have periods, we’d still not want to trade places with your kind. We’re pretty much contented with the little we have… something women would probably never be – content that is.

Now I’m not saying that women (or men) should change. I’m simply saying that women should at least not vilify us when we act like men, because we don’t vilify them when they act like women. I mean sure we don’t appreciate their woman stuff – as they don’t appreciate our man-actions. But at least we don’t turn it into some recurring emotional tornado… and always pegs us as the bad guys. But then again, that always has been a “woman thing” hehehe.

And again, I’m just generalizing. There certainly are exceptions in all sexes/genders. Which brings me back to my preference. Despite the “ideal” traits being “exceptions,” even an average man can become an exception – that is if he is madly in love with someone.

And only the men can benefit from this, because as I said, most women are like that naturally. But if the man is madly in love… he will act like the [a] woman and give all the attention she wants… and more. Result: both are happy.

But the question is how long will this hype last? If it happens to be another exception which lasts forever, then you’re lucky. If not, welcome to reality.

And for the last time, I probably am wrong about what women think/feel, after all, I am a man. The views posted here is how we, the men, see it. And certainly how we think about it.

OUT OF TOPIC

I wanted to share this joke/sketch by Chris Rock about women, but I couldn’t find the proper time, so I figured since I’m talking about them now, might as well put it in here. Again it is a joke ok? But I’d be laughing my ass off if women would actually be offended by it because it would mean that it hit the spot!

It’s about the whole “honesty” thing. As you probably have learned by now, after a gazillion nights of arguments with your “other” that men lie. What you probably don’t know or are in denial of accepting is that we think lying can be justified. Just like in sports. A foul is a foul, it’s bad, and is frowned upon – but sometimes you just have to do it for the greater good.

Chris Rock however, spins it around and turns the blame back to the women (cleverly I might add) saying that they don’t deserve to be told the truth because they aren’t truthful… to their men and more importantly, to themselves.

The simple fact of their outward appearance proves it:

You’re wearing high-heels; you ain’t that tall! You’re putting on make-up; you don’t look like that! You’re wearing push-ups; your breasts aren’t that big! You dress like sluts but get offended if people look at you as sex objects. (this is actually from Dave Chappelle)

Everything about you is a lie, and here you are expecting us to tell you the truth?

Amen brother, amen.