Within the past few months, I was able to watch two “love” movies: The Ugly Truth and 500 Days of Summer.

The first, I wanted to watch because a bunch of friends said that Gerard Butler’s character reminded them of me. ¹ Too bad it wasn’t because of his dashingly rugged good looks and ripped abs. The second was Cris’ request because she has a she-crush on Zooey Deschanel ² And I have to admit, the trailers were pretty interesting as well.

I thought I’d just want to mention some of my thoughts on the movies. So the disclaimer is, if you’re not in the mood for some discussions on life and love, I guess you could just ignore this post. Otherwise, read on.

Oh and btw, SPOILER ALERT! You have been warned.

The Ugly Truth

I enjoyed watching this movie thoroughly because it was impossible [for me] to disagree with Butler. I saw exactly what my friends meant when they were comparing Butler’s character to how I would view relationships. Right down to how he likes to challenge people to prove his (or their) point. ³ I loved the scene of their first conversation in the telephone

I remember saying that if I had an impasse with another person when it came to how to deal with things, I simply say “ok, do it your way and I’ll do mine, let’s see who ends up being happier.” I guess that’s my way of “challenging” in a sense. It’s is even more fun when comparing my advice to others’ – with say, relationships. I’d go something like “Oh, so that’s what she/he thinks eh? Tell me then, how happy are they with their “relationships” (with the opposite sex of course)? ⁴ Bonus points if they turn out to be single more than half of the time As much as that argument can be a logical fallacy, that usually speaks for itself most of the time. After all, statistics don’t lie.

Anyway, back to the movie; the similarities were uncanny, but I’ll focus on two scenes where I could relate the most to.

First, was scene where he explained how cumulative past experiences shaped how he saw things. Honestly, I don’t think he was “jaded,” at least not in the way people would think. From where I’m standing, I’m betting experience taught him how “to keep things real” despite how tempting it is to put too much sentiment in it. In other words, in context of relationships, humans have the tendency to relate things to fate and destiny once things are shaping up; that is to say they treat every experience as signs to indicate if something was meant to be or not.

But God knows I went against enough “signs” in my life to prove that signs are really irrelevant. Even if the universe seems to be conspiring against you, you still can get what you want if you work hard enough – how the hell do you think I got my girlfriend? You think our “common friends” had something good to say about me?

To me, there are only two things that decide whether a person gets what they want (or not); the work/effort you put into it, and a whole lot of luck. Life, and everything in it, is a gamble – like a game of Texas Holdem.

“Luck” is the flop/turn/river; those cards on the table which everyone [who’s in] will have to play with eventually… and your “personal effort” is obviously how you strategize and play the cards that you have on your hands. The bets you make throughout are your levels of risk (in the case of relationships, it’s attachment/commitment). The better you play your cards, the bigger the probability of winning. And I guess the easier it will be to bet big.

But make no mistake, no matter how good you are, no matter how good the cards you have, or how good the signs may be, there will always be a chance where the flop/turn/river will render your hand useless. Luck can can change the values of your cards in an instant, no matter how well you played them. Either way, it won’t have anything to do with fate/destiny.

This is why I keep on repeating that the world doesn’t owe us anything. The sooner people realize that, the better they will be able to handle failures, the faster they will be able to get back up, and the easier it will be for them to move right along and try again.

The second scene was at the end where he had just told her that he loved her but she still kept on railing at him… that was the classic “half-empty” perspective of women right there. Complain about everything that’s not there but gloss over the most important thing.

Hell, even his answer to “why do you love me?” Was similar to what I had answered to Cris on one of our arguments lol!

500 Days of Summer

I liked this movie more because it was “more real.”

But first of all, can we all agree that Tom’s character was pathetic? I mean no matter how much of a romantic you are, wasn’t it painful watching how pathetic he was? Unless you’re a sucker for other people’s pain, I’m pretty sure no one would’ve said “awwww, he’s so sweet and innocent, why does she have to break his heart like that?” I’m not sure if it was just because I resonate with Summer, but I found it very difficult to be on Tom’s side no matter how sorry his situation was. He was pathetic, plain and simple.

I also thought it was clever that the writer(s) reversed the roles in the movie (i.e. the guy was the girl and vise versa). Yes, as sexist as it may sound… statistically, Tom’s character is usually the girl in any relationship (which explains why even Cris said he was like a girl)

To prove the point; there are two pertinent lines in the movie that I could point out (rephrased of course):

1. We’re having fun, isn’t that enough reason?
2. I felt with him what I never was sure I felt with you.

I guess the reason why this is interesting is because these are the exact same reasons I would give whenever I was in a “friends-with-benefits” type of relationship. I would always try to reason out #1, but of course in a “woman friendly” manner – and usually failed at it at the end.

As for #2, ⁵ Naturally, transposing “him” with “her” it’s the answer I could give to every one of them should they ask “why her?” I’ve said in the past, I’ve only had 2 girlfriends – so I can totally relate with not wanting to put any “label” unless I was sure… ⁶ And I guess the first would be the proof of my poker/gambling analogy – it simply didn’t work out even if I thought I was sure of it then and that I’m perfectly ok with having “unlabeled” relationships at that hahahaha – just like Summer’s character.

So to recap, the same exact reasons, when given by Summer (a girl) is ok; it shows girl empowerment (you go girl!)… and the same exact temperament as Tom would look pathetic on a man. But if the roles are reversed (or corrected, to be accurate); A male Summer is an inconsiderate prick, and a woman Tom will be “the poor martyr that deserves better.”

Having said that, forgive me if I have less sympathy for women who try to look kawawa; because most of the time, this is the situation they’re in. And while it’s true that it takes two to Tango, I’m pretty sure that there were rules set before the dance… and someone just decided to change them (for whatever reason, usually because they got more attached than they’d like to be) without the other’s approval, am I wrong?

The reason why I think Summer’s “realistic” approach is better than Tom’s idealistic one is because the synthesis of happiness, when measured scientifically (which it has been) will reveal that the level of happiness between two individuals, with different reasons of being happy, will be equally happy

Simply put, Summer, finding her “one” will have the same level of happiness that Tom will have when he find’s his. What does this entail? It means that to a certain extent, the “it was worth the wait” argument will turn out to be false. ⁷ Ok, “false” may not be the right word; more of “inconsequential” Meaning Tom’s going through hell and back will not make his finally finding his “one” any better/happier than Summer (who was just enjoying herself) finding hers.

The good thing is that both will be equally happy in the end, hurray for that. But try to do the math, lets even limit the timeline to the movie:

Tom, was miserable when she was gone… awkward/sad when she was back but not that into him, miserable when he found out she was engaged, sad during the heart to heart talk at the end. And a bit happy again when he met the new girl let’s even throw him a bone and say that the new girl turns out to be the “one.” Summer on the other hand, who simply was enjoying herself… apart from when they fought, was happy most of the time… and also found the “one” eventually.

So who would you rather be? The person who suffers the hardships then eventually gets what they want? Or the person who has fun AND eventually gets what they want anyways. I mean I know how the Bible glorifies sacrifice and all that jazz, but if you had a real practical choice without any penalties… wouldn’t you rather just be happy most if not all the time? Even a retard could see that Summer had the better deal in those 500 days, she practically got all the perks with minimal emotional baggage.

But I also liked how both of them thought the other was “right” in the end. The truth is, both of them were to a certain degree. The concept of “the one” to me, represents someone that’s pretty darn close to what you ultimately want. I don’t think it’s wise (or even possible) to wait forever for the [absolute] one that fits your dreams to a tee – and for those who claim that their current mate disproves my claim… unless you NEVER fought, I will have to disagree with you 😉

In any case, “the one” argument is acceptable for me. And at the same time, just like Summer said “life happens,” or as Tom learns: not every coincidence has meaning – some of them are just coincidences. But I can relate to both seemingly opposite concepts… and act accordingly. Actions which can be summed up by the words below:

If it will come, it will come – no matter what we do. So might as well have fun while we wait.

Of course “it will come” is different from “it will be so.” I guess the “it” I’m referring to is the opportunity to get what you want. You still have to do your part, and take that chance when it comes along… and milk it for all its worth.