Why Men are happier

Before I get to the title’s topic, I just want to share this proposed new logo of Mozilla Firefox. (picture Taken from JoeMonster.org)

Actually, that picture was the reason why I visited the site – and ended up getting to read what you see down this post.

Why Men are Happier

  • Your last name stays put. – `This isn’t quite as accurate nowadays. I’d sooner say “you need never need to worry about pretentiously modifying your name just to accommodate both your spouse’s surname as well as your own”
  • The garage is all yours.
  • Wedding plans take care of themselves.
  • Chocolate is just another snack.
  • You can be President.
  • You can never be pregnant.
  • You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
  • You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
  • Car Mechanics tell you the truth.
  • The world is your urinal. – How very true
  • You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
  • You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
  • Same work, more pay.
  • Wrinkles add character. – And for some strange reason, even veiny hands
  • Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
  • People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them. – I disagree, if there was a guy with man-boobs, I'm sure people will stare as well.
  • The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
  • New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
  • One mood all the time.
  • Phone conservations are over in 30 seconds flat.
  • You know stuff about tanks.
  • A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.
  • You can open all of your own jars.
  • You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
  • If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
  • Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
  • Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
  • You never have strap problems in public.
  • You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
  • Everything on your face stays its original color. – HAHAHAHAHA!
  • The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades. – Nice runner-up
  • You only have to shave your face and neck. – Techincally, the women don't need to as well, but are they secure enough to deal with it - especially when the men start giving them funny looks.
  • You can play with toys all your life.
  • Your belly usually hides your big hips.
  • One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
  • You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
  • You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife.
  • You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
  • You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. – I can do it in 3 assuming I give everyone the same goddamned thing.

No wonder men are happier!

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