I know it’s none of my business, but I just couldn’t resist… these issues are just so juicy! Hahahaha.

I will exercise my innate nature of being an asshole and weigh in on something. Because believe it or not… I may be an asshole, but I’m an asshole who’s got his head on straighter than most folks.

Plus, I really hate it when I see someone being wrongly villified. I never was the type of person who would defend myself when a woman would wrongly accuse me of something; ¹ I would always trust that people who do matter (or people who were smart enough) to know if it was the truth or not… and it has worked pretty well for me as my friends are people I would take bullets for so I guess this is my way of venting my frustrations; by trying to defend others who are in a similar situation. And I’ve had a bunch of people, who I’m not particularly close to, attest to the fact that I will stick out my neck for them if I think they’re being unjustly marginalized. Hell, I even defended a person I didn’t really know while discussing a totally different subject matter. (check the few paragraphs under the Subjectivity header)

If the issue had simply died down and both parties simply let bygones be bygones that would be fine, but from what I’ve been hearing, one is constantly yammering about being a victim, when in reality they have inflicted so much more pain on the other person.

So, (assuming that this will even make it to the people in question) here goes…

To person A

Some unsolicited advice: I really think it would be best for you to just keep quiet. You talk too much for your own good, and people remember all the inconsistencies and flip-flopping you do. Plus, it doesn’t help one bit that people who actually know the “whole score” ² i.e. both sides of the story have a clear perspective on how shallow you can be. To be fair, both of you were pretty shallow as far as this whole thing went… but it’s clear to people who’s done more harm.

Much is to be learned from the story “the boy who cried wolf.”

If you cry/whine/complain/call-it-what-you-will loud and long enough, sooner or later, more and more people will lose sympathy. More people would see right through you and while they may act polite and concerned, the smarter ones know deep inside what’s really going on ³ Kaplastikan can be a bitch noh? … more than you realize… and again, you have your big mouth to thank for that. So again, I’m actually being a friend now and telling you that if you don’t want to shoot yourself in the foot, seriously, let up on the guy and stop making him look like an idiot to people who are ultimately unconvinced.

And if you need proof of how naive you can be… then how about this: during that “dinner”… talking about it while he was in the other table (possibly within earshot)!? Everyone knew what you guys were talking about… how insensitive can you possibly be!? And apparently, you’re even worse when you’re drunk.

And, in spite of all that, you still have the audacity to announce to the whole world that he was putting you in a tough situation? That’s sooo retarded in sooo many levels! Wow lang talaga… just, wow.

Look, don’t get me wrong… as far as your “decision” goes, there is no foul. You probably didn’t like the guy and that’s reason enough. He lost, period. But the issue I’m addressing is the other things you’ve been doing while this “thing” was unfolding; you were essentially kicking a man while he was already down… and that’s inexcusable. Being a woman doesn’t give you a free ticket to playing the victim card and pull lies out of your ass at someone else’s expense. I’ll have you know that from those who have heard his side, he never once spoke ill of you… even if he was fully aware of what you were doing behind his back. He cared that much… and given the way you handled yourself, it’s clear you simply didn’t care back – not even as a friend. And that’s just sad.

How many failed “relationships” has it been now? You’ve been racking quite some statistics. I don’t know if you noticed but as far as “dysfunctional” relationships [with the opposite sex] go; you’re turning out to have an uncanny resemblance to a certain person that you take advice from. Maybe you really want to follow in their oh-so-admirable footsteps? The good news is, you’re well on your way! ⁴ Pero lamang ka kse maganda ka; and God knows I would NEVER underestimate the power of a pretty face Just remember, at the end of it all, tell me what it’s like being the most difficult person to have any “relationship” with… and if it was all worth it.

In case you haven’t synthesized all the signs and outcomes from all your experiences; given your (ongoing) track record… maybe, just maybe; the problems and issues are stemming from yourself, and not the people you try to put the blame on.

But hey, I could be wrong… in fact I’d love to be proven wrong. It’s getting boring being right all the time.

If you really do care about what people think, just let this blow over quietly and don’t make a spectacle out of it at his expense. Unfortunately, you seem to have always been a person who prefered attention, rather than substance – so I guess everyone will just have to live with that.

All the outcomes thus far have been predictable. In fact, so predictable That I can literally bet good money about the outcomes 😉 ⁵ Speaking of which… someone owes me 😉 And I think YOU owe HIM an apology.

To person B

Don’t worry, you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. For the following reasons:

1. Friends need no explanations… clarifications maybe, but never explanations.
2. The only fault you have is you fell in love with the wrong person – simple as that. You’ll get someone much better; someone deserving of the effort you put out, and I’m sure a lot of people have already told you that.

I know you’re hurting, but if it’s any consolation; for as long as she remains the person she is, mark my words… any relationship she will have is doomed to fail. In fact, even if you succeeded, I’m sure you’d eventually bail on her when the “honeymoon” stage stops and reality kicks in. Given the type of person she is now… she’s only a pretty face… and will remain just that until the time she actually decides to grow up and get herself sorted out.

However, let me take this opportunity to be as brutally honest as I possibly can and hopefully knock sense into you:

You better stop wallowing in self-pity because that’s just as pathetic as the other person’s shallowness. I know you’re hurting, but you’re supposed to be a fucking man. So MAN THE FUCK UP. Stop whining like a little bitch and move on. Seriously, you’re more of a girl than she is at this point… what the fuck is up with that!?

Go have fun, get someone else. Hell, love someone else if you’re a helpless romantic… whatever the hell you have to do to move on. Just as long as you do it, it’s better than just being such a loser.

While you should be relieved that a lot of people actually have more sympathy for you than her… for all it’s worth, you should know that I don’t feel sorry for you.

Because here’s the deal: if you don’t know your worth… and you think that you are a loser… then you know what? You probably are. Be all emo about it and it just makes you more of a loser… and if that’s the case, why did you even bother going after her? Nobody likes a loser… a spineless flip-flopping woman is no exception.

So you have your own cross to carry now, and it’s not the pain from that failed relationship… but the fact that you have to stop being such a pussy!

You’re a good person, and others see your worth. She probably doesn’t, but many of us can… the question is if you can see it yourself… and if you will accept it.

Man the fuck up.

Also, here’s a tip: the best test of any person’s character is what they would do and say if all the people involved are literally in the same place listening to what the other has to say. Because then, only the truth comes out… no convenient lies and omissions, no “mangled truths” to fit their needs… just facts that can be confirmed or contested by everyone involved.

I’m quite formidable in this front because I’ve always been consistent regardless if people agreed with me or not.

• If I stand my ground, it’s clear to everyone what my stance is.
• If I’m wrong and/or if I apologize, everyone knows I’m sorry.
• I don’t say one thing to someone and another thing to someone else just so I can have it both ways. Likewise, I don’t lie to get what I want. ⁶ Even women from my failed “relationships” can attest to this. Incidentally, it’s the same reason why everyone thinks I’m an asshole hahaha – can’t please everyone
• If I must keep secrets; whether it be with someone, from someone, or for someone; I have never been remiss in clarifying why it had/has/will have to be so.
• If you hear me “backstab” it’s not because I’m a backstabber; but simply because the person wasn’t in front of me at that time 😉
• I never judge a person for something I know I myself am capable of doing. Simply put, hindi ako holier than thou; I can’t judge a cheater, but I can certainly judge someone who’s pretentious 😉
• I never expect anything of anyone which I don’t want people to expect from me. This is actually a double-edged sword; since I technically can’t be jealous… even if I really am the jealous type. As such, the best I could do is always hope… but never expect. ⁷ If I DO expect, that means there was an explicit agreement between us of such expectations
• I’m sure there are more, but you get the picture.

All these things are exactly why, despite my reputation and “track record,” I’m still the person with the least issues (all things considered) and least emotional baggage – even if my personality technically is susceptible to having the most issues.

It’s really not that hard… all you have to do is stop the pretense.

Apply this test to her, and I bet you good money that whatever she said to you, or what she has said to anyone else would change in a heartbeat.

And for the both of you… please, grow up. It wouldn’t hurt to grow a spine as well, while you’re at it 😉

For all it’s worth, while I certainly was betting on it failing (because I’m not stupid), I was kinda hoping it would work out, because the two of you would learn a lot from each other… and by learn, I mean “the harsh reality” type of learning (which the both of you are sorely lacking).

Both of you are too idealistic in both of your perspectives, contrasting as they may be… and you’re just setting yourselves to a lifetime of disappointments because of it. Kung naging kayo sana, that would have been be one relationship that’s destined to fail, but at least you’d both be a bit more practical after the fallout. And hopefully enter the next relationship(s) with a better perspective.