Agony

My dad dropped of a DVD of this play we watched when we were still little (as in early gradeschool)

It’s entitled Into the Woods and it rocks! I’m glad Dad found a DVD version and we got to reminisce and appreciate the play even more that we could watch it with more capable minds (for lack of a better term)

Anyways, I totally dug the parts where the two princes talked about their “prospects.” They were so hilarious, that I even encoded the parts to video (and put in the words).

Watch it if you have the time… you won’t regret it!

Agony

Into the Woods Stephen Sondheim

VIDEO

Click here for the version from Act 1
Click here for the version from Act 2

LYRICS

LEGEND: prince 1 prince 2 both

ACT 1 ¹ Prince 1 is talking about Cinderella, Prince 2 is talking about Rapunzel.

Did I abuse her or show her disdain? Why does she run from me?
If I should lose her how shall I regain the heart she has won from me?

Agony, beyond power of speech!
When the one thing you want is the only thing out of your reach.

High in her tower she sits by the hour – maintaining her hair.
Blithe and becoming and frequently humming a light-hearted air: aaaaaaah ² Rapunzel’s “song.”

Agony, far more painful than yours!
When you know she would go with you – if there only were doors!

Agony, all the torture they teach! What’s as intriguing or half so fatiguing as what’s out of reach.

Am I not sensitive, clever, well-mannered, considerate,
passionate, charming as kind as I’m handsome – and heir to a throne? You’re everything maidens could wish for! Then why “No”? Do I know? The girl must be mad!

You know nothing of madness… ‘til you’re climbing her hair
and you see her up there as you’re nearing her and all the while hearing her aaaaaaah

Agony! misery! woe! Though it’s different for each. Always ten steps behind, always ten feet below, and she’s just out of reach!

Agony, that can cut like a knife!
I must have her to wife.

ACT 2 ³ Prince 1 is talking about Sleeping Beauty, Prince 2 is talking about Snow White.

High in a tower, like yours was, but higher; a beauty asleep.
All ‘round the tower a thicket of briar a hundred feet deep.

Agony, no frustration more keen!
When the one thing you want is a thing that you’ve not even seen.

I’ve found a casket entirely of glass – no, it’s unbreakable.
Inside, don’t ask it, a maiden alas just as unwakeable

What unmistakable agony, is the way always hard!? She has skin white as snow. Did you learn her name? No – there’s a dwarf standing guard!

Agony such that princes must weep!
Always in thrall ‘most to anything almost or something asleep.

If it were not for the thicket… A thicket’s no trick! Is it thick? It’s the thickest! The quickest is pick it apart with a stick. Yes, but even one prick… It’s my thing about blood. Well, it’s sick! It’s no sicker than your thing with dwarves! “Dwarfs!” “Dwarfs.” ⁴ To clarify modern plural is “dwarfs,” older variant is “dwarves” (according to wikipedia that is) so I guess the play wanted to go “modern.” Dwarfs are very upsetting! Not forgetting the task’s unachievable, mountains unscalable.
If it’s conceivable but unavailable aaaaaah

Agony! misery! woe! not to know what you miss. While they lie there for years and you cry on their biers – what unbearable bliss!

Agony that can cut like a knife!
Ah well, back to my wife