Top of the world

The cycle of life – one minute you’re at the top of everything, the next you’re at the bottom. Aside from the financial aspect of everything, I’d pretty much say that I’m at the top right now.

First of all, as of 12:56am of Oct 16th ¹ I type this down because there are some things that really are an unfortunate reality… one of them is how awful my memory is… no exceptions. I even forget my own birthday – let alone an anniversaries. for the second time in my life, I’m officially taken. As pathetic as it sounds that I am admitting that I’ve only had 1 (or 2, now) girlfriend(s) thus far, and as pathetic as it may be that I’m actually blogging about it – I’m still a happy camper. I don’t care what other people think, I’m happy period. And I’m not ashamed to admit it.

There were a ton of things to be considered in our case. People who know the situation would probably know the most pertinent “issues.” I have no problems trying to explain it to my friends who hold different takes on the topic… but it needn’t be explained here. Suffice to say, It’s crystal clear… and I’m not say this just because I’m smitten ² Though I have to admit it may be part of the reason. As it is with all people in love. as it were. Remember, I’m still as practical and possibly even more jaded than the rest of them… so try not to assume that I’ve plunged in with reckless abandon – or at the very least, didn’t think things through before deciding to plunge in with reckless abandon hahahahaha.

At the end of the day, as the cliche goes: “You just know.” – These are the types of things that sound ridiculous… until you actually “experience” them ³ No wonder the concept of Religion just wouldn’t die hehehe..

Anyways, enough of that. The other reason I posted this was because of my past conversations with GP about Berklee while this personal development was going on.

I’m quoting these logs since I have a funny feeling that in the future, Adium might truncate the logs, or if I make a booboo and actually delete them accidentally (on a reformat perhaps). It would be nice to read back on these reassuring words from a friend and musician for whom I have the highest regard.

Author's notes will be in this typeface

October 4 logs

2:14:28 PM [email protected]: im starting to see mas swak na fit ikaw dito sa berklee than me 2:14:40 PM [email protected]: like mas berklee ang pagka musician mo kesa sakin hehe

It has to be said though that I don't agree with this. Without having to kiss any ass, I can honestly say that GP has always been a better musician than me. So if his statemet were true, that simply means that he deserves a BETTER school (Juliard perhaps?)

2:14:46 PM [email protected]: in short mag eenjoy ka dito 2:14:50 PM [email protected]: hahaha 2:14:53 PM [email protected]: pangit lang ng timiing

i was referring to being interested in someone at that/this point in time

2:14:54 PM [email protected]: hahaha 2:14:56 PM [email protected]: onga eh 2:15:00 PM [email protected]: well it doesnt have to be now 2:15:03 PM [email protected]: kaya kelanagn 100% or bust 2:15:06 PM [email protected]: true 2:15:12 PM [email protected]: at least kung nakuha pede iplan 2:15:13 PM [email protected]: i mean you can pass now and tell berklee na hindi ka pa papasok 2:15:15 PM [email protected]: thats what fabian did 2:15:21 PM [email protected]: three years ago pa siya pumasa 2:15:24 PM [email protected]: and now lang siya pumasok

I was so glad to hear that your acceptance (and even your scholarship if ever) will still be honored even if you decide to postpone actual enrollment. Obviously I had no reason not to at least try getting in. Of course the question now is how to prepare the application materials.

October 6 logs

11:54:24 AM [email protected]: oh yeah 11:54:26 AM hes got a gereat voice 11:54:28 AM [email protected]: referring to YOUR voice 11:54:43 AM [email protected]: sino yan? 11:54:46 AM [email protected]: fabian? 11:54:47 AM [email protected]: my super galing trumpetist/personal trainor 11:54:53 AM [email protected]: were gonna record constipation 11:54:59 AM [email protected]: stiggg 11:54:59 AM [email protected]: piano trumpet and bass lang 11:55:07 AM [email protected]: thanks! 11:55:37 AM [email protected]: hehe 11:55:39 AM [email protected]: youll get in daw 11:56:09 AM [email protected]: schweeeet 11:56:18 AM [email protected]: hehe 11:56:23 AM [email protected]: sobrang galing nitong taong to ha 11:56:43 AM [email protected]: i believe you 11:56:54 AM [email protected]: eh ikaw palang magaling na pano pa kung tao na sinasabi mo na magaling 11:57:28 AM [email protected]: so bale beside this KID, i am…. hmm… tae na may suka na hinaluan ng kulangot 11:57:45 AM [email protected]: hahaha 11:57:48 AM [email protected]: oh my god

I’ll save the comments on this (my voice) for the logs below, since I pretty much will be saying the same thing

October 12 logs

7:33:56 AM [email protected]: shet kelangan mo talaga mag berklee.. feeling ko perfect ideal student ka ng music production department heh 7:34:16 AM [email protected]: haha bakit? 7:34:43 AM [email protected]: wala lang kanina sa class andaming useful info 7:34:50 AM [email protected]: that youd probably implement very well 7:34:51 AM [email protected]: hehe 7:34:59 AM [email protected]: cool 7:35:02 AM [email protected]: tas rare na kaya ipagsabay na musician and music prod eh

later...

9:53:02 AM [email protected]: hehe gusto mo marinig first recording ko ever sa berklee? 9:53:03 AM [email protected]: jologs 9:53:10 AM [email protected]: cge 9:53:14 AM [email protected]: ano url? 9:53:22 AM [email protected]: send ko Began receiving 02 EXTENDED MIX.mp3 (9:54:05 AM) 9:54:13 AM [email protected]: anong kanta to? 9:54:19 AM [email protected]: composition ng singer 9:54:31 AM [email protected]: tas project ng engineer 9:54:40 AM [email protected]: he needed to record anyones original composition 9:54:42 AM [email protected]: live to 2 track 9:54:50 AM [email protected]: 2 track 9:54:50 AM [email protected]: wow 9:54:54 AM [email protected]: quite a challenge 9:54:54 AM [email protected]: hehe diba 9:54:55 AM [email protected]: challenge 9:55:04 AM [email protected]: pero feeling ko talaga mas maganda gawa mo if ever 9:55:08 AM [email protected]: feeling ko mas maganda pa gawa KO if ever

Is it just me, or si GP doing the perfect sales-pitch of convincing me to go there as fast as humanly possible… It’s friggin’ working! Alam mo naman dude na talagang gusto ko, pero wala ako PERA! So kelangan bongga application ko para makakuha ng scholarship.

This in today (Oct 16) a while ago when I told him that I now had a girfriend

9:48:33 AM gehpeh: so ala nang pag asa ang berklee 9:48:39 AM gehpeh: pinag uusapan ka pa naman ng mga bisita ko dito 9:48:42 AM gehpeh: dahil ang galing mo raw 9:48:43 AM gehpeh: hehe 9:48:48 AM nargalzius: hahaha pede pa! (mag-apply sa Berklee) 9:48:54 AM nargalzius: di ba sabi mo pede naman ihold (yung enrollment) 9:49:03 AM nargalzius: eh gus2 din niya mag-aral, pag kaya, diyan sa US 9:49:13 AM nargalzius: so kung itutuloy yon, at KUNG pumasa din ako, then isasabay ko 9:49:18 AM gehpeh: pasado yan! 9:49:20 AM gehpeh: yon! 9:49:20 AM gehpeh: haha 9:49:27 AM gehpeh: wala lang kelangan masigurado mo by summer 9:49:31 AM gehpeh: kung itutuloy mo 9:49:33 AM gehpeh: hehe 9:49:37 AM gehpeh: dahil kami maghahanap ng apartment 9:49:45 AM nargalzius: hahahhaa 9:49:55 AM nargalzius: well she still has another year of college 9:50:05 AM nargalzius: so not anytime soon ata 9:50:16 AM nargalzius: but the application, i still want to go through with it 9:50:39 AM nargalzius: so ano sabi ng friends mo? 9:50:40 AM nargalzius: hahahaha 9:51:20 AM gehpeh: ang ganda ganda raw ng boses mo 9:51:21 AM gehpeh: hehe 9:51:26 AM nargalzius: huH!? 9:51:26 AM nargalzius: what the fuck!?

I knew I didn't have an awful voice, but never in my life did I think I had a GOOD one. Sure I could adlib better than most, and I did have friends/people who told me they liked my voice, but this is probably the first time that people "learned" in the field actually complimented it. GP himself never did... and I share his sentiments. This is part of the reason why I make my own songs, because I know I'll never make it as a singer alone - just like Paolo Santos couldn't.

9:51:28 AM gehpeh: na sigurado di ka lang daw pasado 9:51:34 AM gehpeh: pero magiging sikat ka pa dito 9:51:36 AM gehpeh: HAHA 9:51:39 AM gehpeh: di sakin nanggaling yan ha! 9:51:46 AM gehpeh: saka, mag usap tayo sa salita natin 9:51:49 AM gehpeh: dahil nasa tabi ko sila lahat 9:52:03 AM nargalzius: ok so parang “uso” yung ganoong tunog diyan? 9:52:07 AM nargalzius: tunog bata 9:52:07 AM nargalzius: hahaha 9:52:27 AM gehpeh: hindi, kasi paiba iba raw boses mo 9:52:37 AM nargalzius: aaaah doon sa ibang songs? 9:52:50 AM gehpeh: yeah pinakinggan namin halos buong nightflight 9:52:51 AM gehpeh: hehe 9:53:04 AM gehpeh: yung isa dito taga tambol 9:53:13 AM gehpeh: at alam niya pano aayusin yung drums sa younmyworld 9:53:20 AM nargalzius: cool 9:53:22 AM nargalzius: sige 9:53:29 AM nargalzius: tanong mo paano ahhaha 9:53:33 AM nargalzius: talagang “tagatambol” 9:53:37 AM gehpeh: kelangan mo pumunta dito 9:53:42 AM gehpeh: ehe oo no siya lang taga tambol dito 9:53:43 AM gehpeh: haha 9:53:44 AM gehpeh: mahahalata

It’s unfortunate timing that we were seriously discussing the application now that I have every reason to stay in the country. But hopefully the whole “enroll when ready” will still stand when the time comes IF (and that’s a big IF) I actually pass.

Another development is that my mom actually said that she could put me through Berklee… this would mean that I’m sure to pass na if I had the money (because the school pretty much accepts anyone who could afford to go). But I declined for 2 reasons.

• It’s harder to convert to a scholarship once you’re in because now you’ll have to have grades to show them.
• I will accept any financial help anyone offers me – I’m not so stupid as to let my pride get ahead of the practicalities of putting one’s self through school in the USA. So there’s no doubt in my mind I will accept the money in one form or another. I just want to make sure that I utilize it the best way possible. I’d much rather that the money spent on the education be invested somewhere that can actually make money immediately – which we already have. So I’d rather stick to the plan of getting a scholarship, then have no social life while schooling… as the investment makes money. Money to cover my living expenses (assuming I don’t get a job while I’m there). Whatever the scenario… getting that scholarship would be the only option I would consider.

So there you have it, it’s like all the opportunities are coming in at the same time that it actually sucks that they’re not the types that can simply be juggled together. This would take a lot of planning… and could very well affect my entire life.

But all in all, God is good… sometimes too good. I wonder how long He could hold this up for me?