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RIP: George Carlin

What the fuck is with all the deaths recently? Not that they can be helped, but I seriously think there are other people more deserving of death than the people I’ve been hearing about.

So now we’ve got Carlin kicking the bucket as well.

Why him? George Carlin is by far the greatest comedian I’ve ever come across. Why couldn’t it be one of those other rip-offs like Carlos Mencia? Joe 1 See what I did there? Watch the video to get it.-fuckin’-dammnit!

He will be sorely missed.

Notes

Notes
⇡1 See what I did there? Watch the video to get it.
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How stupid do they think we are!?

So Denon’s selling digital interconnects at 500 dollars a pop. Cable is 5 feet btw in case anyone’s interested.

It’s basically an ethernet cable, which could be had at $3 at that same length. Yeah, it’s the same shit you use to connect your computer to broadband internetz.

I had tears in my eyes (from laughing) after reading one of the comments/reviews:

If I could use a rusty boxcutter to carve a new orifice in my body that’s compatible with this link cable, I would already be doing it. I can just imagine the pure musical goodness that would flow through this cable into the wound and fill me completely – like white, holy light. Holding this cable in my hands actually makes me feel that much closer to the Lord Jesus Christ.

I only make $6.25/hr at Jack in the Box, but I saved up for three months so I could have this cable. It sits in a shrine I constructed next to my futon in Mother’s basement.

I only gave it four stars in my review because I can’t find music that is worthy enough to flow through this utterly perfect interconnect.

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Synthesizing Happiness

What do you call the process of looking a the brighter side of things – when you see the glass as half-full instead of the other way around? Positive thinking? Sure, we can call it that.

But what if it’s something you clearly had not wanted, but just convinced yourself eventually that it was all for the best? Here are the two top examples which illustrate such a scenario:

  1. Any person (most of the time, it’s the woman) who has settled for less than what they had really wanted in a partner.
  2. Any parent who thinks their child is perfect – bonus points if the child has an actual mental or physical handicap.

It’s those people which these two words are perfect for: Synthesized Happiness.

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