Columbine has become a melting pot of issues – one interesting fact is that majority of these issues revolve around Brandon. Now Brandon is a decent guy with faults just like anyone else. He can be annoying (and boy, can he be annoying!) – which makes him unpopular with most of the Columbine people.
Surprisingly though, he still has got some “charm” with some of the ladies in Columbine, which is where this story takes place.
Brandon likes Liza, and has been courting her. And Liza seems to like Brandon too, save for the fact that because of the other issues surrounding Brandon, that he seems to be a “player.” Quite honestly, knowing Brandon, I’m practically open mouthed as to how one could make such an assumption (his “playa” potential, that is). And besides, even if he didn’t have a shot at Liza, that wouldn’t be an issue… at this point.
No hard feelings Brandon, we’re cool right? Anyways, back to the story…
So while Brandon was courting Liza, this other woman Amy stepped in and confessed her affection/attraction to Brandon. She [Amy] knew he was courting Liza, but hey, it was an innocent admission of attraction. I mean I don’t see why people can’t tell you that they like you even if your hitched – for as long as they don’t intend act on the attraction… right? Anyways, Amy has never clarified her “intentions” that fateful night she confessed, but I’d like to think it was an innocent telling of the truth.
Now Brandon, may or may not be attracted to Amy, but he decided regardless to tell Liza about it – after all it was just a matter of fact that Amy said she liked Brandon. It gets a little complicated in the fact that Liza has always suspected Amy of liking Brandon – and that Liza is a bit insecure (aren’t all women?).
Anyways, immediately after the said confession, Brandon calls Liza (not text, not wait the next day, etc.) saying:
You were right; Amy likes me.
Now pardon me for being slow, but in absolutely no way can I construe that statement as being malicious in any way. And I’ll leave it to the readers to decide if that act of honesty is worth shutting any guy out completely from your life… which is precisely what Liza did.
Anyways, for the record, Liza seems to be out of the picture now. To much heartache of Brandon… but such is life.
Now Brandon’s fault here is to fall into temptation (this is all after he had told Liza) – which is probably the fault of any warm-blooded man). Take a look at this scenario: You are dumped for reasons beyond your understanding… and you have someone who likes you. What is a man to do? Call it fickle-mindedness (which is what it is) or rebounding, or whatever negative human trait/action you want. The fact is that given the circumstances, though Brandon was wrong in entertaining Amy (after Liza dumped him I might add) – you can’t blame a man for being a man. Or a person for being vulnerable.
I’d like to compare this to Friends episode where Ross slept with the Photocopier girl after Rachel breaks up with him. It was indeed wrong, but the man was vulnerable… and even if we try to run away from temptation, we can’t run that fast!
You can blame him for being weak-willed, but can you assert that he is a villain? I think not. Nobody’s blaming Amy for being the cause of their breakup, and no one intends to do so. Why should we blame Brandon for falling into temptation (which he didn’t ask for)?
Anyways, Brandon falls into temptation… wrong move – and ultimately makes out with her. Oh no!
Brandon realizes that this was a mistake, as he still had feelings for Liza. He wanted to fix it with Liza. But making out with Amy isn’t exactly something you say to the person you want to get back with… especially if the person you made out with is the same person that got you into trouble in the first place.
You know what? we can take forever here debating which is the best thing to do (to tell or not to tell). But the basic reason men keep secrets is for fear of how it will affect the dynamics of a relationship. When men say they forgive and forget, they really do, because anatomically, physiologically, etc. we do not wish to endure the headache of dwelling on such things. Men do not have enough EQ to handle the stress.
Women on the other hand say they forgive/forget… but they never forget. The mistakes men with decent principles make will haunt them for the rest of their lives… without the need to be reminded by women. The worst part is that the women will remind you… oh they will… count on it!
Men will always have a different perspective from women with regards to the “secrets” one should keep and tell – that is a fact of life women have to live with. That is the same as why men never understood a woman’s need of having to own an unbelievably bewildering amount of garments/clothing/shoes.
So back to the issue: Brandon writes to Liza (since she ain’t talking to him) a letter expressing his desire to fix things. He doesn’t tell her about the stupid incident he had engaged in. But Liza soon learns of it from Amy herself – oh well, so much for that. Suffice to say that if there was anything salvageable in his relationship with Liza, the news from Amy pretty much destroyed it. So now Liza is truly out of the picture.
Meanwhile, Amy is depressed as she claims that Brandon left her after “he got what he wanted.” Ok Amy, let me tell you what we [men] “want,” as you put it. Now since Brandon made out with you already then it is either a physical or romantic attraction. Rule out romantic because if it was romantic, he wouldn’t “leave” you in the first place
If it were physical then what we ultimately want is sex, no less. And sex is defined as intercourse, not making out, not foreplay, or any other form of messing around. Not that I know to what extent you guys may have been messing around, but it was pretty clear that there was no peepee going in any donut hole. This is the point where I myself realized how decent a person Brandon was. If he just wanted sex from you, then he wouldn’t have “left” you until he got it. And he certainly wouldn’t ruin his chances of boning you by calling you right after to tell you that what you guys did was a “mistake.”
Simply put, he was sincere – he made a mistake, and regretted it… and was still in love with Liza. Unless the story to this point isn’t correct, I cannot see why people view Brandon the way they do. And Brandon admitted all his faults to me when we talked, so in no way was he trying to convince me that he was right, or was a “good guy.”
Brandon notices (or hears) that Amy is depressed and tries to be there for her as a friend. But you know the way it goes when you have two vulnerable people … one thing leads to another and they get into some kind of wierd relationship. That was probably the second mistake of Brandon since it seems like twice he has returned to Amy after a devastating incident that concerns Liza. Anyways, let us not dwell on how it happened, but suffice to say that they did get into some sort of relationship… but not as boyfriend and girlfriend.
I would just like to mention that I’ve been in that type of relationship before so I understand the guy’s frustrations when the girl starts thinking that it’s them when it’s not, and starts treating you as a boyfriend that has to please them as a girlfriend – expecting stuff which the guy isn’t really obliged to give her.
What’s doubly frustrating is that in such a setup, the guy almost always looks bad. The logic behind that is that women are said to be too emotional… that they “can’t help it” when in love. Even if they swallow their pride and say that it’s ok to be just friends… they will keep on hoping that it becomes something different – for as as long as the guy gives enough stimuli for them to hope (even if he does it on purpose or not). That guy in turn, is said to be “leading her on.” Basically, what that argument states is that as soon as a girl likes you, either you start courting her, or just avoid her completely. Because anything platonic will be impossible if the girl has feelings for you.
You’d have to pardon my sarcasm, but since I’ve also experienced such an issue myself (not nearly as complicated as this one though), I understand how vulnerable women can get. Still, I refuse to believe that their being uncontrollably emotional its an excuse for them to be martyrs who deserve pity! It is a decision to become a martyr, no one asked you to be a martyr, so if you decide to do so, then live with the consequences and quit complaining. I mention earlier about how you can’t blame a person for being vulnerable – that still stands; no one is blaming you for being a martyr, but neither should they blame Brandon for anything else.
You may say that its because you love someone, but you damn well know what you want for yourself, and all traditions aside, it’s ultimately your choice if you want to live with it or not. So stop trying to put the blame on the person who seems to be “leading you on” and just decide already if you want to take it or leave.
Brandon had become a martyr before – many of us would attest to that. And you guessed it, we didn’t pity him, because it was his decision to be such… we never blamed the woman for inflicting the misery he was experiencing at that time. I don’t see why this is suddenly different. He has made clear what your relationship is, but people still think he’s leading you on? So does that mean we should go crucify the woman of his past for “leading him on?” I don’t think so.
Enough of that. To cut a long story short: That “weird” relationship too, didn’t work out.
A lot of other people got involved in the story along the way – taking the sides they wish to take. That’s their prerogative, but ultimately it didn’t concern them because it was between Brandon and Amy (not even Liza anymore). Things got messy but in the long run, I believe that all parties concerned (including those who got involved) have talked and clarified everything… but there are still extraneous people trying to mess things up (which is connected to another issue altogether); I won’t even try to go there.
Brandon gave me permission of posting this story for all to see, exposing his faults as well as others’. Remember, this is a public post approved by the “culprit” himself, this essentially means he is taking the risk of people contesting the validity of the events that have transpired. Why would anyone take that risk (Unless what he said is the truth)?
As you can see, everyone did something wrong at one point. And what I’m trying to say is that nobody is more guilty than the other given the circumstances. So why don’t we just take the issue as it is and stop taking sides?
Words of advice
-
Brandon Stop being so weak-willed. Stop getting yourself into situations that can get you into trouble (and believe me when I say that I’ve had someone tell me the same thing hahahaha).
With regards to the make-out session. Though I understand you not wanting to tell Liza about that (wether it be for the time being or ever), given how you were already on her shitlist, you could’ve just come clean since you had nothing more to lose.
Also, try not to be annoying… I dunno how you’ll do that since you just seem to be that way to most of the people – which doesn’t help at all when you get into trouble. It’s easy for people to take sides against you if you come of with a negative aftertaste to begin with. -
Amy He probably doesn’t love you, but he does care… as a friend. It would be wise to just move on and remain friends. If you must cry, then cry, if you must complain, make sure you’re complaining about stuff that is true. All arguments about him not treating well aren’t really valid as he isn’t obliged to do so. He is obliged to treat you well as a friend, which I believe he did… but not as someone special – which I think was exactly what you women were expecting.
-
Liza I’m disappointed how you handled the situation. As much as I can’t blame you for feeling insecure, do you really think that Brandon deserved to be dumped for being honest? Isn’t honesty what you women are always clamoring about? This is precisely why we want to keep secrets, because no matter what we do, we get burned – so might as well have a chance of avoiding it entirely (by not mentioning it).
There’s a person who tried to have sex with another woman, and his girl still stuck with him… and here you are dumping a guy for simply informing you that someone else likes him. What gives? - To the rest of the Columbine people Because of Brandon’s natural ability to be annoying… as well as get into situations that shouldn’t concern him, you may be jumping the gun as treating him as the bad guy. There is no bad guy in this particular incident… It is an isolated case. His involvement in the other issues however, he truly can be meddlesome… and I’ve already been straight with him and told him plainly how he should avoid getting involved.
And yes, I believe that his intentions were always good (or at least never malicious). But though his intentions are good – his execution is more often than not: pathetic.
I’m sure that what I’m saying here is reasonable because I frankly don’t know Amy and Liza, and I’m not close to Brandon, nor am I that close to the rest of the people at Columbine, so this is really as objective as one can get. I look at the issue and see someone wrongly accused – not completely innocent, but wrongly accused nonetheless.
And thats pretty much my take on the whole thing, you may disagree or agree, but it’s not like it should matter to me… I just call things as I see them.