{"id":250,"date":"2005-03-20T22:57:58","date_gmt":"2005-03-20T14:57:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.nargalzius.com\/blog2\/http:\/www.nargalzius.com\/blog2\/archives\/2005\/03\/2005_03_20_2257.php"},"modified":"2005-03-20T22:57:58","modified_gmt":"2005-03-20T14:57:58","slug":"how-many-5-year-olds-can-you-take-on-at-once","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/nargalzius.com\/blog\/archives\/2005\/03\/20\/how-many-5-year-olds-can-you-take-on-at-once","title":{"rendered":"How many 5 year olds can you take on at once?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Taken from some <a href=\"http:\/\/forumserver.twoplustwo.com\/showflat.php?Cat=&amp;Number=1556673&amp;page=0&amp;view=collapsed&amp;sb=9&amp;o=14&amp;vc=1\" title=\"Visit complete thread\">forum<\/a> (via <a href=\"http:\/\/www.waxy.org\/links\/\" title=\"Visit site\">Waxy.org<\/a>)<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>The question: <strong>How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The specifics:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects.<\/li>\n<li>You are not allowed to touch a wall.<\/li>\n<li>When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is &#8220;out.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50\/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy Americans.<\/li>\n<li>The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of &#8220;counter-tactics&#8221; training.<\/li>\n<li>There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.<\/li>\n<li>The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his\/her best to take you down.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I set my magic number at 30, but upon reflection, I think I could take on a few more. How many could you take on?<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<!--more-->\n<p>I loved one of the replies which stated:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>damn, this is going to require much reflection. Someday when I&#8217;m uber rich I&#8217;m gunna buy a $#!tl04d of 5 year olds on the black market and try this out<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Anyways, taking into account <em>every bit of detail<\/em> in that list, here are my concerns:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<p>Kids nowadays are getting bigger by the moment. Try finding a younger cousin or even nephew\/niece, chances are they&#8217;re bigger than you right now&#8230; they sure as hell are bigger than me. Though 5 year-olds <em>hopefully<\/em> aren&#8217;t at that magic phase of growth <strong>yet.<\/strong> American kids seem to be bigger than the average asian regardless.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<p>Using a basketball court and some running would mean you can probably easily avoid them. Unless their training included tactical strategy which allows them to act as a unit and not independently, then you only have to deal with their stamina. You would definitely be faster than them, but how long can you hold out?<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li>It would be easy to knock them out cold one by one by a series of hit and runs. Just let them chase you (they&#8217;ll never catch up) and deal with the person closest to you&#8230; one at a time. If someone happens to be in front of you waiting, you can probably just knee them &#8211; if they&#8217;re not that tall that is. Your &#8220;counter-tactics training&#8221; will probably be useful only when they start surrounding you, in which you have to find a way to break free from such a position and continue running.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>So the <em>real<\/em> question here is how strong are you? If you have a <strong>single<\/strong> kick or punch enough to knock someone out cold, then knocking out 5-year olds one by one and running <em>could<\/em> possibly even beat that magic number quoted above. Notice that there is no rule from <em>killing<\/em> the kid, so you can make sure and just snap his neck, even a weak adult has the capacity to do that to a 5-year old one would think.<\/p>\n<p>You could also probably shove a bunch of them to the wall (unless the no touching the wall clause only applies to you), or push\/throw one at them to achieve the same result.<\/p>\n<p>A lot of replies to that thread are rather erroneous since they&#8217;re assuming you don&#8217;t have enough room to work with. A basketball court is pretty big, you&#8217;d have to be really tired, slow, or stupid to get caught before clocking a bunch of 5-year olds. Also, they forget the <em>age<\/em> you&#8217;re dealing with: the age from 5-10 is tricky since this is where most of the changes that can affect this exercise occur. I think 5 is still safe. Now if that were an 8 year old, there could be a considerable increase in their performance&#8230; if they were 10 and above, then you could be in trouble.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Taken from some forum (via Waxy.org) The question: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once? The specifics: You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects. You are not allowed to touch a wall. When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they &hellip; <p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"http:\/\/nargalzius.com\/blog\/archives\/2005\/03\/20\/how-many-5-year-olds-can-you-take-on-at-once\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;How many 5 year olds can you take on at once?&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p><\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[4,10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-250","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general","category-nonsense"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/nargalzius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/250","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/nargalzius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/nargalzius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nargalzius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nargalzius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=250"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/nargalzius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/250\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/nargalzius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=250"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nargalzius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=250"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nargalzius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=250"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}